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  • psyconomics 17:25 on January 9, 2013 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , Book of Proverbs, , , , Epistle to the Colossians, Folklore, , God, , , Literature, Prejudice (legal procedure), Proverbs and Sayings, , Righteousness,   

    Evil man has no future or has he? 

    Proverbs 24:20 for the evil man has no future; the lamp of the wicked will be put out.

    If this is read by a reasonable thinking and without prejudice we can assume that we all have time when we are unable to look into the future with hope and joy. We do not have to evil for that sake, but that is not the most pleasant state to be in.

    If this were written without prejudice towards the state of depression, burnout and even trauma, then it sound more like: for the evil state of trauma a man has no future; the lamp of the burnout state will be put out the life of person.

    Bjorn Vernhardsson psychologist

  • psyconomics 21:33 on December 25, 2012 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: Activism and Peace Work, , , , , , , , , , , , God, , , Inner peace, , Peace, Predictions, , , , , , ,   

    Are you past or future oriented person 

    The Last of the Spirits, from Charles Dickens:...

    The Last of the Spirits, from Charles Dickens: A Christmas Carol. In Prose. Being a Ghost Story of Christmas. With Illustrations by John Leech. London: Chapman & Hall, 1843. First edition. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

    Understanding the past or the future is a task for every moment to validate.

    If you are content and your needs are fulfilled you are in the present and you are open for hope and the future to be.

    If you are occupied by your wants and how to see them materialize, then you are diverting your focus to the past, as the outer world is an incoming past for you and your inner need.

    Of course we need to accept the fact that we need food and shelter for our survival, but apart from that we have psychological inner needs that have to be attended to if we want to be happy and content.

    The more we recognize and respect our inner needs and accept how these realize as our wants, the more we will be able to control our vision for the future instead of being occupied by the materialization of the wants. And we will not impose our wants upon others, as it will in the end destroy our relationship. The past will take over in your communication as your wants will be must for others to oblige, and your needs will be for others to fulfill and your happiness will be for others to fix and your contentment will rely on outer environment instead of your inner peace. Gradually your life will evolve around the past, other people and things.

    Your inner peace can only be worked by you acknowledge and respect your inner need. To accept your inner needs are not easily changed, but your attitude towards your needs can easily be changed.  The acceptance of your inner needs, will make it easier to understand others people needs and to respect those and accept as they are.

    The solution is not to be occupied by your wants as that in the end will make you past orientated instead of future orientated. The more you understand how your contentment is attained will make you ready to accept what might be in the future to be.

    Bjorn Vernhardsson psychologist

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  • psyconomics 20:05 on April 10, 2012 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , , , , , , , Education and Enrichment, , , Gift Wrap, Gift wrapping, God, , , , Marriage, , perfectionist, , , , , , , , self-image, , , , Wind chime, ,   

    Look at the bright side of life for your psyconomics 

    Feng ShuiWind Chime

    Attracts Energy and Chi

    Photo: UnnarYmir


    We might have the habit of hate the way we look or we might be critical of our mate and look for possible solutions by changing our looks, our work or seek for divorce instead of looking into ourselves for the solution of our discontentment.

    In this I am not saying that it is the best thing to chew everything and go on being a floor mat at work or in your marriage or to accept that some body body part of yours might be out of line and that makes you unhappy and discontent.

    It is more important to take action on your discontentment first and then to find out if the problems at work, at home or possible deviance in your look are the root of a problem.

    Make a list of three things you like the most about yourself. Are these things about your look, your performance at work or in your marriage? Probably it is not.

    When people are doing their self-assessment they look for their personality and things that make themselves happy. But the culture is sending different message.  It is about how good and sexy you look, how clever you are at work and how sexy and romantic you are in your marriage. The culture is looking for the wrapping paper but not the content, but we ourselves measure things from the content and at the same time we want to live up to the standard of the wrapping paper.

    You can train yourself in assess yourself and your looks by define your own criteria for what is positive about you. It is most important that your inner criteria is valued and cherished by your own standard. This inner criteria has take into the fact what matters to you the most and what and how much you want to please others comes second.

    Perfectionism can be your worst enemy. Beauty is not about big breasts or love is not about please your mate whatever. To fall short in one department and your whole self-image is down the drain is the pitfall of the perfectionist. Train yourself by choose one or two things that you like about yourself and focus on those. Different things at work and at home. It helps you to keep up your spirits and at same time is a great weapon in building up a good self-trust. You measure yourself by your inner means but not the ever differencing criteria other people have on the matter.

    Image your own self good by putting your best face forward. Promote your value at work or in your marriage and stay by that and boost it f.i by wearing something sexy or tell when you have done a good job.

    If things are not improving and you find that whatever you do to is not releasing the pressure you find from your environment, you might go for more drastic moves, but such a move is not to improve other people contentment or to solve your own discontentment or unhappiness, rather to improve your own contentment. That is the way to well earned wellness.

    Bjorn Vernhardsson psychologist

  • psyconomics 20:05 on April 3, 2012 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: Altar, Arts, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , God, , , , Jesus, , , Luck, , , , , , , Ritual, , , Space, , , ,   

    Your own personal altar picture 


    Artist: Jonina Gudnadottir

    Picture: UnnarYmir


    We often put up a picture of someone in our home or at work. A sporting figure, a musician, a scientist or a famous one who we cherish. This can be a good exercise and reminder of what we like to accomplish ourselves. We might want look into their perspective in live and exercise us in coining our own goals.

    In the churches we see altar pictures and statues of saints and people who aspire us. People who did show strength in difficult times inspire us and show us what we can do for ourselves in time of trouble. The altar picture is displaying the family wall of good deed doers.

    In the same way you can put up a picture of yourselves in your home. You can find a picture of you where you find yourself beautiful and happy. This can be recent one or an old picture, even when you were very young. Have your own altar in your home with picture of you put up in a most favorable way possible.

    So pull out some pictures of you an look why were you so beautiful and happy, who are there with you and what where you doing? If you enlarge some of these pictures, print them out in super quality and even frame them. Then you can well relate to that state of you being happy and content and spontaneously feel this relaxing state. This is as important for the marriage as well. Find pictures of you and your mate or the whole family in a cheerful moment and reprint it in high standard.

    So be the star in your own life. Someone to look up to and into for your contentment. Let the happy and content you lead you to present days wellness.

    Bjorn Vernhardsson psychologist.

  • psyconomics 20:30 on February 12, 2012 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , Anger, Ask an Expert, , , , , , , , , , , , God, , , , , , , Moral responsibility, , , , , , , , ,   

    When we admit our powerless in situations, then first our lives become manageable 

    Picture: UnnarYmir


    If you use your heart as weighing scale not the environment or pressure from others when in doubt, then your own life will be more manageable. Your freedom to act will be based on what you want to do, not what you must do to comply to other people needs.

    Become responsible for other people needs and their perception of contentment is a never ending task and cannot be done. In the end it will break you and leave you in a state of hopelessness.

    You are only responsible for your own needs. When you react in compliance to your own need and contentment then that will lead to frictionless co-operation and relationship with others.

    It is a satisfying feeling to live with others who are content and happy and it is interactive experience, but the responsibility for our contentment lies in hand of ourselves. You are in control of your own thought and behavior and at same time responsible only to that too.

    The feeling that we find coming from others can be mixture of all kinds of emotions. Anxiety, anger or sadness can be seen as contagious as any virus that spreads among people. We can acknowledge this contamination, but we do not have to or can take the responsibility from other people to solve their problems.

    We might contribute to others people unhappiness, but we are not responsible for other people contentment. That is why it is so important for us to contribute to good feelings of the ones close to us, as it is likely to come back to us. That’s how we gain from other people contentment.

    We can systematically help other people to ask for and acknowledge their feelings. We can ask for their wishes and wants. We can help them to prioritize and find choices. We can ask for their intention, but we cannot take their responsibility over the choices they want to take. We can help them to realize their idea of their future and hopes. We can reality test their thoughts, but the choices will be their responsibility to take. When we realize that these questions are for ourselves, then we start to concentrate on and be responsible for our own contentment and well-being.

    Bjorn Vernhardsson psychologist

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  • psyconomics 10:42 on January 19, 2012 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , Christianity, , , , God, Kathmandu, Monk, , Nepal, , , Religion & Spirituality, , , , World war,   

    The Monk 


    Riwoche Monks in the Taklung Kagyu Monasery in Tinchuli, Kathmandu, Nepal[i].

    For millenniums we have had people taking the holy stand in life. They are concerned with higher meaning in life and less interested in the daily life and its petty activities .

    There are stories in the Holy Bible about the people giving their blessings and offering others salvation, and most religions have their own versions of the Holy Men focusing on the meaning of life.

    After millenniums of civilization mankind has not learnt to live peacefully with each other.  Abominable actions such as killing your neighbor because of faith/language/ politics/natural resources/race still exist and are ruthlessly justified. World Wars are fought and no one is spared. Except Monks. Why? That is because our own image of inner contentment and peace is mirrored by the image the Monks portray. Their blessing is important for our soul at every time, even in the most cruel times.

    The Monks were trying to reach God and wanted to be closer to him and the idea is to separate themselves from the human life which is driven by needs and deeds.

    We can easily incorporate the idea of the Monk into our live. Whenever we are in contact with others, whether that is family, friends or colleagues, we can step out of each and every situation. Instead of being occupied by people’s interests and needs we can go for the option of blessing both or all parties and look for the higher meaning of the situation.

    Try to go for the blessing element that is so meaningful for the Monks and their interest free relations with people. Saying something nice to your fellow worker or a family member can make a world of difference for them in their daily activities. They remember who was the great giver of good will and the warmth will flow to everyone to reap the benefits from. The Monk is not expecting something back.

    Somehow everybody was there for the kill in the World Wars – except the Monks. Where do you want to be in your Daily Wars? In the middle of the battlefield, fighting for your survival? Or in a safe haven, observing instead of being a slave to the fight?

    If you can master this exercise, then you have one more tool in the task of improving your relationships with other people and at the same time one more tool to soothe your own feelings.

    Be a bit of monk whenever you can throughout the day.

    Bjorn Vernhardsson psychologist

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