Attracts Energy and Chi
We might have the habit of hate the way we look or we might be critical of our mate and look for possible solutions by changing our looks, our work or seek for divorce instead of looking into ourselves for the solution of our discontentment.
In this I am not saying that it is the best thing to chew everything and go on being a floor mat at work or in your marriage or to accept that some body body part of yours might be out of line and that makes you unhappy and discontent.
It is more important to take action on your discontentment first and then to find out if the problems at work, at home or possible deviance in your look are the root of a problem.
Make a list of three things you like the most about yourself. Are these things about your look, your performance at work or in your marriage? Probably it is not.
When people are doing their self-assessment they look for their personality and things that make themselves happy. But the culture is sending different message. It is about how good and sexy you look, how clever you are at work and how sexy and romantic you are in your marriage. The culture is looking for the wrapping paper but not the content, but we ourselves measure things from the content and at the same time we want to live up to the standard of the wrapping paper.
You can train yourself in assess yourself and your looks by define your own criteria for what is positive about you. It is most important that your inner criteria is valued and cherished by your own standard. This inner criteria has take into the fact what matters to you the most and what and how much you want to please others comes second.
Perfectionism can be your worst enemy. Beauty is not about big breasts or love is not about please your mate whatever. To fall short in one department and your whole self-image is down the drain is the pitfall of the perfectionist. Train yourself by choose one or two things that you like about yourself and focus on those. Different things at work and at home. It helps you to keep up your spirits and at same time is a great weapon in building up a good self-trust. You measure yourself by your inner means but not the ever differencing criteria other people have on the matter.
Image your own self good by putting your best face forward. Promote your value at work or in your marriage and stay by that and boost it f.i by wearing something sexy or tell when you have done a good job.
If things are not improving and you find that whatever you do to is not releasing the pressure you find from your environment, you might go for more drastic moves, but such a move is not to improve other people contentment or to solve your own discontentment or unhappiness, rather to improve your own contentment. That is the way to well earned wellness.
Bjorn Vernhardsson psychologist